


Captain Xander Harris

by MegKF



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Torchwood
Genre: Episode: s2e06 Halloween
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegKF/pseuds/MegKF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YAHF. What if there was a coat that once belonged to Captain Jack Harkness hanging up at Ethan's shop? What if Xander wore it that night?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Xander Harris

**Author's Note:**

> Buffy is owned by Mutant Enemy and Torchwood is owned by BBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Fanfiction is, in my opinion, free advertisement. There are many things I've bought because I enjoyed fanfiction that crossed into a new fandom. I encourage everyone to purchase these products.
> 
> This is a response to challenge 4785 by Nerdgirl on TTH.

Captain Xander Harris - Chapter 1

Xander hadn't expected to find the really cool WWII coat when he'd gone into the store to get a toy gun to go with his fatigues. He couldn't believe how easily Snyder had roped him and the girls into being chaperones. At least it was supposed to be a calm night on the hell mouth. He admired the coat some more before he couldn't help himself and pulled it off the hanger to try it on. He looked into the nearby mirror and really liked how it looked.

"A perfect fit," came a cultured British voice next to him.

Xander flinched at the sudden interruption and whirled around, the coat flaring around him. "Seriously man, you shouldn't scare people like that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you interested in the coat?" Ethan smiled at the young man before him. He had found the coat one day when he'd been visiting Cardiff in Wales. He imagined the coat had quite a story behind it since it'd been lost by a man who had saved him from some weird demon he'd never seen or heard of before or since. He was all for chaos, as long as he wasn't in any real danger. He'd been attacked by a good dozen of them at different times during his two day stay, it had been like they'd been drawn to him. Ethan had quickly used magic to escape from the scene and hadn't returned to Cardiff since. Cardiff was added to his can't go back there list and he'd moved on.

"I doubt I can afford it," Xander said as he shrugged out of the coat. "I only really need a gun to go with the clothes I got at the army surplus store."

"I will not hear any talk of that," Ethan said as he placed a hand on Xander's shoulders. "I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement. You're not the first person to try that coat on, but you're the first person it seemed to fit."

***

Xander grinned before he forced his face into a more relaxed appearance and knocked on the door in front of him. When the door opened he saluted Joyce Summers and said cheerfully, "Captain Xander Harris, reporting for duty ma'am." His grin quickly returning as he entered the Summers home.

"Buffy and Willow will be down in a couple of minutes Xander. I like the coat, it's very authentic."

"Thanks. The shopkeeper gave me a great deal on it."

"Xander!" Buffy called out as she walked down the stairs.

"Buffy. My Lady of Buffdom. The duchess of Buffonia. I am in awe. I completely renounce spandex."

"Thank you, kind sir. But wait till you see…" Buffy's voice trailed off as Willow made her appearance.

"Hi…"

"Casper."

Xander smiled up at Willow as she walked down the stairs, "Hey, Will. That's a fine "BOO" you have there."

The three left the house, Xander not noticing as Buffy exchanged looks with a very shame-faced sheet.

***

"Xander!"

Captain Jack Harkness turned as the sudden human voice he heard behind him. He kept his hand on his gun though, just in case. The last thing he remembered was going to bed in the Torchwood hub and then suddenly being in the middle of an apparent invasion from short aliens. His eyebrows rose slightly as he caught sight of the woman running towards him.

"Xander, it's me. Willow!"

Jack lowered his gun and placed it back in his holster. "I'm afraid you have me mistaken for someone else. Captain Jack Harness at your service. And you are?"

"Quit messing around, Xander. This is no time for jokes."

"Any idea what the Hell is going on here?"

"You don't know me?"

"Believe me," Jack allowed his eyes to wander up and down Willow's scantily clad body, "I'd remember meeting you."

Willow blushed as Xander flirted with her. Jack reached out a hand to shake hers only to find his hand going right through her.

"Oooh!" Willow gasped out as she felt Xander's hand pass through her.

"You're a hologram" Jack says almost accusingly.

"Xander. Listen to me. I'm on your side, I swear. Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween and not I am a ghost. You were supposed to be a soldier, and now, I guess you're a real soldier."

"Alright."

"Alright?" Willow was slightly taken aback. She was slightly panicking about being a ghost but Xander seemed unnaturally calm. "You believe me?"

"It wouldn't be the weirdest thing to happen to me. I'm willing to accept it as a possible explanation until another more likely possibility reveals itself."

There was a rustling by them and Jack pulled his gun back out and aimed it as the pint sized vampire.

"No! No guns. That's still a little kid in there-"

Before Willow could finish her sentence Jack pulled the trigger. Willow let out a little scream.

"Don't worry, it's just a stun gun. He'll be fine."

"Oh…" Before Willow could ask how a WWII captain happened to be carrying a stun gun she caught sight of Buffy wandering down the street. "Buffy!" Willow rushed to her dazed friend's side. "Buffy are you alright? What do we do?"

Lady Buffy decided to take that moment to faint.

Jack rolled his eyes slightly as the ghost tried to wake the unconscious woman. He put his stun gun away and pulled out his gun gun and shot it into the air. He smirked as the 'children' ran off startled by the noise. He put his gun away and knelt down next to Buffy.

"Buffy! Are you alright?" Willow asked anxiously as Buffy started to come to.

"What?" 'Buffy' asked confused.

"Are you hurt?" Jack asked as gently assist the woman to her feet.

"Buffy, are you hurt?" Willow asked again.

"Buffy?" Lady Buffy echoed.

Willow turned to Xander, "She's not Buffy."

"Who's Buffy?" Jack asked as he frowned at the ghost.

"Oh, this is fun," Willow let out a huge sigh. "What year is this?"

"1775... I believe… I don't understand. Who are you?"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness, at your service milady. And you are?"

"We're friends," Willow interrupted as she frowned at Xander, he had sounded too friendly to her just then.

"Right then!" Jack said as Buffy was finally standing solidly on her feet. "Where do we go?"

It didn't take long for Willow to realize the nearest place to stay was Buffy's home and she led her friends their quickly. Willow was very relieved when she realized that Buffy's mom wasn't home.

Jack stood looking out the front the window as the two girls argued behind him about who they were or something similar. And they were girls, and he was a boy as far as he could tell from his reflection. He was a teenager again. Not as good looking as him, but then there weren't many who were, he had potential though. Ghost girl's story seemed to be true. Jack frowned as he heard a scream in the distance.

The girls look up from their argument as Jack swears and rushes out the door.

"Surely he'll not desert us?" Buffy asked worried.

"Whatever…" Willow said having had enough of Lady Buffy.

Jack hurries towards the woman whose scream he heard. It didn't take him long to locate the woman in the cat suit running along the other side of the street. Jack fired once more into the air, scaring her pursuer away. Jack grabbed her shoulders and she screamed again before apparently recognizing him.

"Xander?"

"Come inside," Jack ordered as he led the woman quickly back to Buffy's home. He slammed the door behind them as they entered the house.

"Cordelia!" Willow called out catching sight of the newcomer.

"What's going on?" Cordelia demanded to know.

"Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, we're your friends. Well, sort of…"

"That's nice, Willow, and you went mental when?

"You know us?

"Yeah, lucky me. What's with the name game?"

"A lot's going on."

"No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy. Look at my costume! Think Party-Town's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely."

"I think it looks kind of hot like that," Jack interrupted.

"Like I care what you think Xander!"

"I'm not Xander. I'm just in his body. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, and you are?" Jack asked in his most charming way, reaching over and grabbing Cordelia's hand, raising it to his lips and kissing it.

"Er... Cordelia Chase," Cordelia blinked a couple of times as a fuzzy warmth took her for a moment. It took her a minute to shake it off and remember that this was Xander in front of her.

"Okay," Willow said as she decided what to do. "You three stay here while I get help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am," Jack said with a grin and salute as she walked through the wall and headed toward the library.

Jack worked on barricading the front door on the off chance something would try to get in before ghost girl's help would hopefully fix things. Lady Buffy following him around not wanting to be alone.

"Cordelia, can you check upstairs and make sure everything is locked?"

Cordelia nodded and rushed up the stairs, she wanted to feel useful anyway, and away from Xander, him being charming was creeping her out a little.

"Isn't there some safe haven we can go to?" Lady Buffy asked scared.

"Willow said to stay here," Jack explained softly, knowing the girl before him was from another time and unsure of what to do.

"You would take orders from a woman? Are you feeble in some way?"

Jack turned to the young noblewoman in front of him, he reached out and took her hands in his, "She knows this place and we don't. We have to trust she knows someone who can fix this and send us home. But I promise you this, I will protect you. Please trust me."

Lady Buffy blushed slightly as the soldier in front of her dared to place his hands on hers. She nodded hesitantly.

"Oh, good. You guys are alright. It's chaos out there," came a voice from the kitchen doorway.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked moving slightly behind Xander for protection.

"Okay, does somebody want to fill me in?"

"We've all become what we dressed as," Jack explained. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness," he reached out a hand which Angel accepted in surprise since he wasn't used to Xander being nice to him, "and you are?"

"I'm Angel," Angel quickly dropped Xander's hand as he leant to the side to look at Buffy. He took a step towards her only for her to step closer to Xander. "What's up with your hair?"

"They don't know who they are," Cordelia explained as she hurried down the stairs, Angel was the perfect person to make her forget about the warm fuzzies Xander had given her earlier. "Everyone's become a monster, it's a whole big thing. How are you?"

Lady Buffy shrieked and grabbed Cordelia who was passing her just as the lights went out.

"Do you mind?" Cordelia said trying to shrug Lady Buffy off.

Jack shrugged. "Cordelia, take milady and secure the kitchen." Jack turned slightly and looked Angel up and down. "You look strong, help me barricade the living room, then we'll work on the kitchen."

"Fine!" Cordelia huffed. "You're so going to owe me later Xander."

"I wouldn't mind owing you Cordelia," Jack said with a smirk as his eyes returned to her.

Her eyes widened as Xander flirted with her again. She grabbed Lady Buffy's hand and pulled her into the kitchen. Moments later they screamed. Jack and Angel rushed into the kitchen to see Cordelia struggling with a vampire. Lady Buffy backed up against the counter staring in shock. Angel went into motion, tearing the vampire from Cordelia.

"Stake!" Angel called for as he pinned the vampire to the floor.

Lady Buffy shrieked again as Angel looked up in full vampire appearance before running out the open kitchen door.

Jack pulled out his gun and hit the pinned vampire with the handle before pointing the gun at Angel. Angel rose off the unconscious body. "We need to stake him and find Buffy."

"Oh my god!" Cordelia gasped out as she watched Angel shift back into his human face. "I thought they were joking with me about you being a vampire."

"So they knew he was a vampire?" Jack asked looking at Cordelia. She nodded as she moved behind Xander.

"I'm on your side alright. Buffy and I are sort of um.. Seeing each other," Angel mumbled through trying to explain.

"Fine. I'll be keeping my eye on you. Now we need to find the lady before she gets hurt."

"Buffy will be fine," Cordelia said not wanting to leave the house.

"Buffy would be okay," Angel said as Jack pulled the vampire up against the wall. "Whoever she is now, she's helpless. Come on. Stake him Xander."

"It's Jack and he's probably in a costume or is Buffy in the habit of inviting vampires inside her house?" Jack gazed up at Angel as he rose from the floor. "Or do you think she's seeing a lot of vampires?" Never let it be said that Jack wasn't quick on the uptake.

"Oh," Angel hadn't thought of that. He really didn't have anything else to say about his almost staking a human.

"So which way did she go?"

"I think it's that way," Angel pointed out the direction he thought Buffy had run away towards.

It took them awhile to catch up to Lady Buffy. Angel actually rushed past the alley where she was cornered by a pirate. Jack caught sight of them as he heard a weak voice protesting from the darkness. He ran in and tackled Pirate Larry before he could kiss Lady Buffy. Jack was easily able to knock Larry unconscious. He turned around to face Lady Buffy what was clutching at Cordelia who awkwardly tried to comfort her.

Lady Buffy screamed as Angel appeared at the entrance to the alley, "He's… He's a vampire!"

Cordelia rolled her eyes, "It's okay. Angel is… a good vampire. He'd never hurt you."

"He - really?"

"Absolutely. Angel is our friend."

"It's strange," Jack said as he rejoined the others, "but… beating up that pirate gave me a strange sense of closure." He turned to Lady Buffy, "Are you alright?"

She nodded quickly.

Jack could easily tell she wasn't really feeling safe, "I promised you I would protect you and I keep my promises. I won't let anything hurt you, okay?"

Lady Buffy nodded again, but before she could say anything Willow rushed into the alley.

"Guys!"

"Willow," Angel announced unnecessarily.

"You guys gotta get inside," she pointed behind her as Spike entered the ally with four child-sized monsters and two grown-up sized monsters beside him.

"This way."

"Ladies… we're on the move."

They begin to run away, but Lady Buffy has trouble keeping up and Jack sweeps her up in his arms thinking that this kid is a lot stronger than he would have thought. Angel opens a door to a warehouse and they rush inside. They slam the door shut with moments to spare. Jack sets Lady Buffy on her feet as he takes in his surroundings. Lady Buffy immediately grabs onto Cordelia again.

"Faboo. More clinging," Cordelia gripped.

"Angel! Help me barricade the door. Willow, can you make sure there aren't any other entrances, if you find one come tell us so we can block it too."

Jack and Angel jumped back as demonic hands easily ripped through the door and tore it open.

"Never mind. Find another way out and get Cordelia and milady out of here. Angel and I will hold them off."

Spike entered the door as it opened easily. His minions holding Angel at bay, Angel not being willing to hurt kids, at least that's what he told himself later about why he wasn't getting free. Jack pulled out his stun gun and was able to get away from his attackers, but rushed towards Lady Buffy figuring Angel could protect himself. He stopped short as he settled in front of her and caught sight of Spike.

"You're the bad guy?"

"Yeah! I'm the big bad," Spike said smirking.

"This is unbelievable," Jack said as a weird half laugh escaped him. "You look just like one of my exes. Except he'd never have bleached his hair."

"Then you have good taste."

"That I do."

"Get out of my way," Spike said pushing Xander away.

"And this reminds me of our foreplay," Jack reached out from where he'd fallen, grabbed Spike's leg and pulled Spike down as well. The two of them rolled around fighting, Spike was winning but not as easily as he would have thought. It was almost like the boy he was fighting knew all his moves and could compensate for the enhanced strength a vampire had.

"You can kill him," Willow called out as she tried to stop herself from thinking Xander was kind of hot when fighting.

Jack managed to land on top and pin Spike, but found himself lip locked with Spike instead of shooting him. Spike started to kiss back and rolled over so he was on top of Xander when he froze. Spike jumped up shocked.

"What the?" Xander stared up at Spike in horror.

Spike looked around as his minions were turned back into kids in costumes.

"Hi Honey. I'm home," Buffy pulled back a fist and punched Spike as her wig slid off. "You know what? It's good to be me." She hits him again and he hits the wall before running off.

"Hey Buff. Welcome back," Xander rose back to his feet wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yeah. You too."

Cordelia looked back and forth between them, "You guys remember what happened?"

"It was way creepy," Xander explained. "Like I was there, but I couldn't get out. And I really wanted out before that last bit."

"I know that feeling," Cordelia agreed running her fingers down her costume. "This outfit is totally skin tight."

Angel ignores Cordelia and Xander as he hurries to Buffy, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Buffy confirmed as she gazed up into Angel's face. They wandered off together.

"Hello? It felt like I was talking. My lips were moving," Cordelia began to complain before Xander interrupted her.

"Give it up, Cordy. You're never going to get between those two. Believe me I know."

"I guess we should get them back to their parents."

"Yeah. It seems like everyone is back to normal," Xander turned towards the little kids to comfort them.

"Hey Xander," Cordelia asked a little hesitantly not sure if she wanted to know the answer or not.

"Hm?"

"Were you flirting with me earlier? When you were Jack?"

"Cordy, Jack was flirting with everyone. Willow, Buffy, you, Angel and even Spike."

"Oh," she wasn't going to tell him she thought the kiss he'd shared with Spike was a little hot, only a little, or that the thought of him and Angel kissing was very hot.

***

Captain Jack Harkness sat up in his bed at the hub. "That was one weird dream," he muttered to himself. He got dressed and went upstairs.

Alex raised an eyebrow from his seat as he caught sight of his best field operative, "Good morning Jack. You're up early."

"Hey Alex. I had a weird dream. Probably because of Halloween yesterday. Dreamt some kid dressed as me and I possessed him. Had to run all over his town fighting other possessed costumes, rescuing ladies in distress, I got to beat up a pirate and made out with my ex partner from my old job."

"That must have been one hell of a dream Jack."

"Yeah."

*Ring* *Ring*

Alex frowned as he reached over to answer the phone, people rarely called Torchwood 3. And when they did it wasn't usually good. "Alex Hopkins speaking," his forehead wrinkled in confusion as he turned to look at Jack. "It's a collect call for you from a Xander Harris. Do you want to accept the charges?"

End - Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> REVIEWS INSPIRE ME  
> I wrote this back in 2010 when I first got into Torchwood. This ended up much much longer than I thought it would. Yay? It was my original plan to write one or two more chapters to add the romance mentioned in the challenge. It took me a long time to both decide on Xander's eventual romance and to decide how to write this. I felt it was really hard to work on because I think this is one of the best things I've written and worried that chapter 2, which I finally started working on, wouldn't measure up.


End file.
